The Land of Overwhelmed

I've taken up residence in the land of overwhelmed. I'm pretty sure I'll be here for a while.

I'm overwhelmed at what's happened over the past two weeks. My dad's stroke was pretty severe. His mobility is very limited. He's in an inpatient rehab facility and will most likely be released in a wheel chair. The rehab center felt it would be best for him to stay until the end of January in hopes of meeting his goals, adjusting the release date if needed to make sure he's functioning well enough when he leaves. Now, due to insurance issues, he'll most likely have to leave mid-January, a few weeks away from meeting his goals. There's a chance he could go to a skilled nursing facility to get closer to his goals after leaving the rehab center, but either straight from rehab or from the skilled nursing place the plan is for him to move in with our family. Even if he's met his goals, he's anticipated to be released in a wheelchair. This means we're currently trying to figure out how to make our home accessible for him. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of care he may need when he gets here.

I'm overwhelmed with the phone calls. I've spent hours on the phone over the past two weeks with nurses, social workers, human resources personnel, the social security office, my aunt, my brothers, trying to figure out his care and his benefits. There are hours of phone calls ahead, but I'm glad I can at least do some of the calling more easily than I can the physical side of things (like moving his stuff out of his apartment, a job my brothers took care of, or making dozens of trips back and forth to the hospital) right now with a 3 week old.

I'm overwhelmed trying to find balance in my life. I have things that I greatly desire to be doing, things that I know will fall back into place, but right now I'm not sure how or when. My calling, the joys in making my home, the care of meal planning are all things I'm sure I'll get back to, but not sure when. My kids needs are being met and I'm having a lot of good conversation with my sweet husband and that is what is most important right now.

I'm overwhelmed that mastitis set in on Christmas Eve and has consumed my weekend. I started an antibiotic yesterday and the chills and fever have left, so hopefully I've turned the corner.

I'm overwhelmed at the support of family and friends. This is one of the hardest times I've ever gone through. I'm so grateful to those who have wept with me, who have helped me problem-solve, who have offered listening ears and helping hands and pep talks on hard days (which, who am I kidding, seems like every day right now). I know I wouldn't be making it through at all right now without the amazing people who surround me, and I feel so blessed.

I'm overwhelmed spiritually. I've been filled with a lot of uncertainty, wondering how this is going to work or why Heavenly Father wants this for me or what I'm supposed to learn. There are a lot of unsettled emotions in my relationship with my dad that will hopefully be smoothed out. There are a lot of things that I can see I will learn from this experience. There are tender mercies that have allowed me to realize that I've been preparing for this. When we were naming Charlie, I was about 90% sure we would name him Elias and call him Eli, but when he was born it just didn't fit. I couldn't let it go that Elias needed to be part of his name, and it became his middle name. I kept feeling the impression that this little boy would be preparing our family for something special as I studied the entry in the bible dictionary over and over while pregnant with him which refers to Elias as "a preparer". I feel like now I'm starting to see what he's preparing us for. Our family is going to reach a whole new level as we go through this experience. I know that we have to be at a point where every good thing is in place and our obedience is exact so that we are qualified for all blessings that Heavenly Father can send. I know that I have a lot of work to do.

There are many, many unknowns in our situation right now- what my dad's condition will be when he comes, how long he'll stay with us, how it's going to work, how we'll get along. The one thing I do know is that I will be growing. Our family will be growing together. And Heavenly Father knows we can do this. I hope this is not something I just endure, but that I can endure it well.

I'm overwhelmed by the love of my Savior and my Heavenly Father as I'm embarking on this journey.

Knee-Deep

I'm currently knee-deep in too many things:

-dirty diapers
-lost hours of sleep
-last minute Christmas shopping
-phone calls
-notes and notes and notes

My dad had a stroke Sunday. The things that were just getting back to normal with having a newborn are suddenly back to overwhelming and crazy. I know things will be ok. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan and that things will work out, but wow is this hard. Hopefully I'll be back soon with sweet baby pictures and Christmas tales.

So I Can Remember

I need to post a few things about the past few days, just so I can remember when these days feel like so long ago.

-Yesterday Sam put his hand down on a wet burp cloth and was totally disgusted. When he realized what it was, he said "be right back, mom" and ran back to get a new burp cloth for Charlie. It was the sweetest thing. He calls Charlie "baby brother" a lot of the time. He also is fascinated with how I feed Charlie and pretends to get milk out of the fridge and bring it to me so I can put it in my body to feed Charlie. Today he told me he was bringing me chocolate milk because Charlie would like it better.

-Addie is still loving having a baby at home and spends a lot of time holding Charlie or asking to hold him. That girl is using hand sanitizer like it's going out of style because she wants to always be ready when she gets a chance to hold him. She's also super helpful and gets whatever I ask for if I'm needing diapers/wipes/etc. She told me yesterday it's probably going to be hard for me to take care of 3 kids, and I told her I'm going to try my best to learn so I hope she'll be patient with me. I can't believe how grown up she is lately.

-Charlie is doing great. We're having a little bit of a rough time feeding (translated to me wincing at every feeding) , but hopefully that will straighten out soon. He is just so sweet and so handsome. I'll work on more pictures soon. I think he's straightening out days and nights. He has a nice wakeful stretch in the morning which the kids love being able to see him.

That's all for now. I need to rest while I have the chance!

Charlie boy

After much deliberation we named our baby Charles Elias. 3 out of 4 of his great-grandpa's have Charles as a first or middle name, so it's nice to honor so many important men in our family. Here's a slightly abbreviated version of his arrival- just so I can share some details since who knows when I'll have time to post again!

I went in at 7 Wednesday morning and got started on pitocin close to 8:30. The midwife came in and tried to break my water multiple times (the first time the baby was still too high, the second time she felt his hand by his head and at this point I'd developed a slow leak of water, the third time was the charm). I got an epidural around noon and that was the worst part of the whole thing. I'd felt fine before hand and afterwards was zapped of all energy and just felt crappy. At 2:15 they checked and I was at a 6 (I was at a 4 when I arrived that morning). At 2:45 I was at a 10. I started pushing at 2:55, pushed through 4 contractions, and he arrived at 3:04. He was 8 lbs, 11oz, and 21 inches. He has more hair than any of my other babies have and it's adorable to me. He is just the sweetest thing. Addie and Sam are over the moon with their new baby brother. They're constantly informing him "Hi, it's me your big brother/sister". I'm so glad to have Pat home for the entire coming week. Our house is decorated for Christmas (as of today thanks to Matt and Chrissy) and I'm hoping for some cozy days together enjoying our baby and the holiday season. After worrying the whole pregnancy that I didn't feel connected, I definitely feel the bond with him now! I can't get pics to load, so to see him, go here.

Baby baby

He's here! He's nameless! He's big! 8 lbs, 11 oz, 21 inches. He's perfect! Will be back soon with pictures and a name and a full story, but thought I'd update a little. We're in love!

Breakfast gone wrong

Yesterday morning I wandered into the kitchen and began a quest for breakfast. Deciding on cereal, I got the milk out of the fridge. I started to pour, and it came out in clumps. Then I threw up.

Milk, I'm so done with you. You're too temperamental. I need a beverage I can count on. The date on your carton was December 3. Yesterday was November 29. Did you miss the memo that you still had a few days left before spoiling? It's only been in the last several years that I've started adding you to my cereal. Now I remember why I ate dry cereal for so many years. We're through.

Six on Saturday

1. Thanksgiving was perfect. I had an easy year (drinks, veggies and dip, snacks) and enjoyed the delicious food everyone else made. We spent the morning parade watching and getting ready and doing a little food prep, and soaked up food and games and laughter the rest of the day. Quite the success.

2. Operation ready for baby is in full-swing and coming along nicely. The room formerly known as Sam's is almost ready for guests and the new baby that will soon be occupying it. Sam still refers to Addie's room as Addie's and the baby's room as Sam's, so hopefully he won't feel too lost in the shuffle.

3. I'm still trying to finish up some Christmas shopping. Online shopping is always my favorite, but especially this year. If you're not an Ebates user, I'd highly recommend it. You get a percentage of cash back for every purchase you make as long as you click through Ebates first. Often, they'll have an extra coupon deal to help make your purchase even cheaper. Then a few times a year they deposit the money you've accumulated as cash back into a paypal account which you can then dump right back into your bank account. Here's a link, just in time for cyber Monday.

4. Decorating for Christmas has been a work in progress this weekend. Tomorrow we'll finish the tree with the kids and then hopefully be done. Whatever doesn't happen this weekend just isn't happening this year, so I hope I feel festive and content with the decor. I turned on the White Christmas station on Pandora tonight and instantly started to feel that Christmas spirit.

5. Pat and I went to his follow-up appointment for his hospital stay, and he started a new medicine. It seems to really be helping so far- hooray!

6. I've reached the point of feeling truly uncomfortable. Sleep is getting harder. My body feels enormous. So excited to go to church tomorrow and hear the old ladies tell me that it is, indeed, enormous. So excited that in 4 days it will start being not so enormous any more.

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

In the Spirit of Thanksgiving

Let me just tell you how much I love that video (click the link to watch since I'm not smart enough to get the video embedded in my post). And that I cried when I watched it. All 3 times. Definitely the hormones, although I probably would've cried the first time pregnant or not. But it's amazing to see that so many people in so many different circumstances can all find something to be thankful for.

I love thinking about what I'm thankful for. It fills me up in a way that nothing else can, to think of all of the blessings in my life and the fact that they come from a loving Heavenly Father who knows me personally.

Yesterday Pat and I received callings. I got called to my same position in the Relief Society Presidency, but the rest of the presidency changed. Pat is now an assistant clerk. This will be a blessing for us to not tag team to meetings quite as much. I am grateful for opportunities to serve and for the many ways it blesses our family. I'm glad that it's part of our family culture for us to serve and for our kids to see that happening so it can become part of their lives, too. I'm thankful for opportunities all around us to forget ourselves and serve others.

I am grateful for the health that we enjoy. Although that is often one of our largest trials, in the grand scheme of things I know that it could be so much worse. Last weekend was a good reminder to me of the health blessings that we enjoy. Pat said he felt calm the whole time, and I think I remained at a relative calm, but when I listened to some of the things I was saying as I communicated news to family and friends, I'd catch a glimpse of the seriousness of the situation and have a moment of panic. It's not hard to be reminded about how frail our existence is, and I am thankful that Pat is home with us. I can't imagine life without him.

I'm thankful for Addie and Sam. Addie's sensitivity and nurturing and passion for learning are so fun to watch. She is growing up before my eyes, and it's amazing to see her in this process of becoming. Sam's happiness and sense of humor and curiosity are a blessing in our home. He is such a fun boy and will be such a sweet big brother. I'm grateful for the little boy that will soon be joining Addie and Sam. I can't imagine what his personality will be like, but I know he will fit right in with his siblings and bring our family just what we need right now.

I am thankful for family and friends who surround us. I know that Pat would not have recovered nearly as quickly without the prayers of many on our behalf. It's hard for me to be in a position to need help or to have to ask- I'm much too independent for that, but last weekend was truly humbling to realize how many people care and how many were quick to offer support. We felt so blessed to have so many rush to our aid and it made a hard time much more sweet to feel the love of others.

I'm grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. His perfect love is the greatest blessing in my life and the example I hope to follow. Through Him and a loving Heavenly Father I have a foundation to build my life on, and I can't think of a better gift.

It's Friday, It's Friday

Some times I'm just so happy when Friday comes. When I went to pick up Addie from preschool today they were doing a dance and singing "It's Friday, It's Friday," and I could so relate. It's been a long week. Pat is continuing to improve. He's still exhausted, but he insisted on going back to work Wednesday. We're hoping things continue to go well with his recovery, and we've been so grateful for the support we've felt after a scary few days. It's given me quite the dose of perspective and also a real blessing feeling the love of family and friends.

We're hoping this baby stays put through Thanksgiving so we can enjoy a quiet week checking things off the to-do list and soaking up our remaining time as a family of four. Things aren't scheduled until the 2nd, but this baby boy has been making his upcoming arrival known with contractions all week long (very unlike the first two times we've done this) so he's peaked my curiosity and given me hope/dread that he may show up early. Lots on our agenda this weekend as we pick up where we left off last weekend with the nesting projects, but hopefully we'll get some good resting accomplished, too. Happy weekend!

Yesterday: A Timeline

7:45- get out of bed after a pretty restless night. Call Pat for an update (he hardly slept but is feeling pretty good still and hopes to come home) and start the morning list of calls (Pat's parents, my parents, etc.).
9:10- arrive at the hospital
10:15- Internist comes in to see Pat, decides he can probably go home, writes prescriptions, sets up follow-up appointments, etc.
10:45- drive home from the hospital
11:05- make the bed with Pat, get him settled in
11:15- drive to a mid-wife appointment set to start at 11:45
12:30- decided I'm tired of sitting and waiting and being so exposed, get dressed since I will no longer be getting checked today, I just need to get home to my husband
12:35-mid-wife comes in, does quick assessment, writes a prescription for my cold that won't quit for a z-pac
12:40- drive to pick up lunch for Pat
12:50- drop off prescriptions
1:00- get home and eat lunch with Pat, talk about how good it feels to be home
1:20- pick up Sam from Russ and Rita's. Find out how he took Russ for a ride when Russ suggested they get a treat and Sam picked out a toy, but then informed him that's not a treat, he also needed a treat to eat and settled on gummy bears.
1:40- pick up prescriptions
2:00-pick up the kids belongings from Chrissy.
2:30- pick up Addie from pre-school
3:00- try to get everyone to nap after being so excited about being home together
4:00- doorbell rings, dinner is getting dropped off
4:45- dinner bringer leaves
5:30-Sam wakes up screaming and inconsolable.
5:35-hard, painful contractions start and continue for the next hour and a half, rendering me useless
5:40- Pat wakes up and finds me a mess and Sam a mess. Takes over for a while and I feel terrible that I'm not currently able to help.
7:05- contractions finally subside. Have Family Home Evening
7:30- start bedtime routine
8:00- Pat and I collapse, glad that the day is finally over.

It was a long one, but so happy we're all home and hope this baby boy's dramatics are just a side-effect of the weekend stresses, not a sign of things to come for a couple weeks!

Sunday morning update

This morning's update: H1N1 was negative, so still no ideas what caused the infection, but I think they're not as concerned any more about chasing after it since he's doing so well (although I could be wrong). His blood sugar has returned to normal (it was elevated yesterday). One of the gastro guys in the group he sees is supposed to come over this morning, and his nurse said after that they may let him come home! Hooray!

I'm holding up ok and feel really blessed between family and friends praying for us and all of the help we've received. The biggest nesting task of the weekend was that I was going to clean the carpets with Pat, and I got home last night and Pat's mom had paid for someone to come and do it. She and Chrissy came over and cleaned up some and it was nice to walk in and see things taken care of. The carpets look amazing and it was such a nice surprise. Addie and Sam have been having the time of their lives at Matt and Chrissy's- a dream come true for them to spend so much time living with their favorite aunt and uncle, and I've felt blessed to not have to worry at all about their care. I talked to Addie this morning and she sounded so happy which gives me great peace of mind.

I haven't made it to the hospital yet today so hopefully things will continue to be this good, but it seems like we're definitely on the up and up. Thanks again for all of your prayers and support!

Updates

Thanks for all the prayers. The nurses said Pat got to the hospital just in time last night and narrowly avoided becoming septic. He had 3 bags of rehydration fluid while in the ER and was still doing terribly. Currently there's a lot of waiting going on. Waiting for results of his H1N1 test, waiting for results of his CT scan earlier today. He doesn't feel like its Crohns related, so we'll see how long we have to stay in the ICU and continue to track down what could be causing it, but his blood pressure is raising and his heart rate is dropping and his fever is gone after spiking again this morning which are all good things. He looks much better right now than when I got here this morning. He's on bag 7 of rehydration fluids but still isn't allowed to eat, but he's gaining more desire to eat which is good. They gave him anti-anxiety meds last night in addition to anti-nausea meds and massive doses of motrin in the ER because his breathing problems seemed similar to hyperventilating. I'm really hoping to transfer out of the ICU soon and out of isolation, but we're still waiting and it may not happen until the morning. I think he'll still be here a good part of the day tomorrow if not into Monday, but hopefully we'll start getting answers soon.

Change of Plans

Instead of the nesting frenzy that was in the plans for the weekend, Pat is being admitted to the ICU. I don't have a lot of details right now because I sent him to the ER earlier tonight with his dad after he threw up all afternoon, had tightness in his chest, and then started feeling tingly. They think he has some sort of massive GI infection (at this point not H1N1) tied to his Crohns. His blood levels are all over the place. They think he'll be in the hospital for a few days, but hopefully just in the ICU until sometime tomorrow. I'll try to update as I know more.

Top Ten Ways to Know a Baby's Coming Soon (or Recap of my Week)

10. Your house turns into a flurry of activity with nothing ever feeling done or clean enough.

9. Big projects are finally getting started (as in the great room swap has begun and entered phase one with little boy #1 finally exiting the crib to get ready for little boy #2).

8. Your husband starts to grow weary of your honey-do list which contains ever more obscure requests (such as cleaning the ceiling fans- in his mind, how does that relate to a baby?).

7. You can't go anywhere without someone giving you a look or making a comment about your belly, or if you're really unfortunate, giving it a little rub or pat. Church is super fun right now with the over 60 set who all feel the need to state the obvious. My current favorite, shared after laughing as I walked the whole length of the hall, "You just look sooooo....pregnant." Really? That's the best you can do?

6. You hear terms tossed around like "at a 2, 70% effaced, with a super soft cervix." You know these terms really mean nothing in terms of when the baby will come.

5. You have a frequent flier card to see your OB/midwife and love to people watch while there so often. Most interesting find at the last appointment was the heavily-cologned (as in could smell him 50+ feet away) well-dressed black man anxiously asking the lab tech how soon he'd get results as he handed her an envelope that said "alleged father." Then you say prayers of gratitude that your circumstance is much more favorable than the man with too much cologne.

4. Your fuse is short. Really short. And instead of all the lovey moments you hope to have in the last few weeks with your family as you've known it for the past few years, they'd really rather not be around you because you've become quite unpleasant.

3. Said unpleasantness could be related to the ever shrinking amount of sleep obtained during the night time, readying you for many sleepless nights to come.

2. The popular pregnant mini-series "My Body: The Science Experiment" suddenly reaches a whole new graphic level.

1. Tears, tears, tears. Whether you're happy or sad, this seems to be the only way to expel the excess of emotions currently filling every space that the baby isn't filling.

Sunday Supper

For last week's Relief Society dinner the committee and I made 8 chicken pot pies. They actually came together pretty quickly, and I thought I'd share the recipe since I was already typing it up to be passed out to the ladies at church next month. I received this recipe several years ago from my aunt and it's gotten a lot of mileage at my house since then. The roux makes it taste more home-made, but a few shortcuts on the vegetables and dough help to cut down the prep time. You've got to love a recipe like that!

Chicken Pot Pie
1/3 cup butter
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup chopped onion
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 3/4 cups chicken broth (I use chicken bullion if I don't have broth on hand)
2/3 cup milk
2 cups cut-up cooked chicken
1 package frozen vegetables
pie crusts for top and bottom (I use the Pillsbury crust to save time)

Heat butter over low heat until melted. Blend in flour, onion, salt and pepper. Cook over medium-low heat stirring constantly until mixture is smooth and bubbly; remove from heat. Stir in broth and milk. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir 1 min. Stir in chicken and frozen vegetables.

Place bottom crust in at least 9" pie dish. Pour chicken mixture in and put the other crust on top. Close crusts together and poke a few holes in top crust before baking. Bake at 425 for 30 to 35 minutes or until crust is brown.

Five for Friday

1. Last night our Relief Society meeting was a hit (minus all the bumps in the road along the way). Cute aprons, delicious food, good company (including old roommates who stopped by since my old boss from the MTC was teaching candy-making), and great classes were the highlights. The theme for the night was food and family, based on this talk from Julie Beck. I loved it! I'll try to forget about the lack of round table tops that have vanished from the building, the supplies for classes that weren't quite right, and my swollen ankles.

2. Today Addie woke up with a fever. I'm 100% confident it's just a cold, but still not fun to have a child who doesn't feel good. The fever seemed to have broken by the time she went to bed tonight, so we'll hope for the best that no one else catches this little bug. Loads of laundry, airing out the house, and disinfecting filled my day today.

3. Sam and I had a conversation today about what he'd like for Christmas. He told me he wants a boy doll house. It comes with girls and boys and dolls and it has a witch's bed. I'm not sure what this could be or how Santa is going to deliver such a lofty/obscure request. I'm hoping a little redirection will help the situation.

4. 36 weeks. Sheer craziness. This pregnancy really has gone quickly, and there's still so much to do before he comes. Hoping to tackle a few more projects this weekend.

5. Even though this week has been busy, I've had a few quiet moments filled with gratitude that have filled me up. Today the sun was beating in my kitchen windows and although it wasn't perfectly clean, I felt such contentment in my home admiring the sunshine. We've been here 4 years now and I'm so grateful for the growth and learning and love that has happened in these walls. I love being at home.

On My Heart

Yesterday was my turn to teach Relief Society. I asked that it be that way so I could have a few months post baby without thinking about a lesson. The thoughts I shared have been on my heart for a while, so I thought I'd share a few of them here, too.

It may just be my perception, but it seems to me that a lot of people are currently going through a lot of hard stuff. Yes, there's always the dismal news report, but trials seem so much more close to home for so many. I've really been focused on the concept of taking care of our own, reaching out to those we know for whom we can make a difference instead of feeling discouraged by the larger, global problems.

Last week was not an easy one for me. Of course there was the vaccine debacle which didn't help anything, but some of life's challenges that are ever-present felt so much more prominent in my existence. After a full day of feeling pitiful on my part, I woke up the next day determined to get over myself, and I didn’t have to look far to find someone else to focus on, someone who made my trials pale in comparison. My load was lightened as I helped to carry their burden, and I was able to find gratitude again.

I'm feeling more determined right now to close the gap between participating in service projects and ministering as a way of life. The hymn asks Have I Done Any Good in the World Today?, not this week or this month. I believe that charity is a reflection of our conversion, a measure of our discipleship, and a meaningful ministry that all of us must choose to have in order to follow our Savior. This quote really struck me and has become my focus.

“When, for the moment, we ourselves are not being stretched on a particular cross, we ought to be at the foot of someone else’s—full of empathy and proffering spiritual refreshment.” -Neal A. Maxwell

I think if we want November to be a month of gratitude, serving others is a sure way to fill our hearts with thankfulness. I'm going to give it a try. Won't you?

Recipe for Disaster

1 2 1/2 year old boy
1 4 1/2 year old girl
1 35 week pregnant mother
1 Phil and Ted stroller
1 bag packed with treats, hand sanitizer, drinks, books, coloring supplies, wipes and a diaper
1 long line, unsure of where it ends

Stand in what seems to be the end of the line. Wait 45 minutes. Be grateful that the prayer for patience has worked so far. Mix a dash of "needs to potty" with 4 1/2 year old girl. Add a bold man standing behind you who lets you know after 45 minutes that you actually cut in line and he had been in line almost 3 hours. Refrain from crying and telling him how pregnant the woman in the equation is, the fact that the woman's husband has a suppressed immune system due to a chronic illness, or the fact that 2 children will have a new sibling soon. Wonder what qualifies said man to be in the line and why he didn't tell you sooner so you could have found the correct spot to wait. Take children to the bathroom. Attempt to return to find the back of the line, only to be informed the line has closed and they're out of vaccine. Take patient children for a happy meal. Go to the bank. Stir in snow vigorously. Stop at Target to pick up diapers. Go in quickly, getting cold and soaked in the process. Find diapers. Return home feeling defeated.

Monday Musings

1. Halloween is usually my one time of year to indulge a little on buying candy (so many sales and coupons, how can I resist having treats on hand?). This week I went to Target to start building up my stash. I was so excited to come home and dig into one of my favorites- Take 5 bars. The pretzel, chocolate, peanut butter, caramel deliciousness has given me heartburn every time I've had one. I'm trying to curb my sweet tooth, but I'm really ticked about it.

2. Sam has started waking up during the night, a behavior he hasn't done regularly since he was a newborn, and currently a behavior usually reserved for feeling sick. Sickness hasn't been the cue for his wakefulness, this time. Three nights ago he was sure there was a fly in his bed. I was not hip on fly eradication at 4 am, so I allowed him to come in my bed and we proceeded to be awake for the next 2 hours while Pat migrated to the couch. Last night he claimed there was a bug in his bed. I assured him there was not and made him tough it out. I don't think "The Little Sam who Cried Fly" or "The Little Sam who Cried Bug" are destined for the best-seller charts anytime soon, and the only prize they may collect is the prize of sleep-deprived and grumpy parents. I'm hoping there will be no more sequels in this series- it's run its course.

3. I have a date. For induction, that is. If things haven't happened already (and I'm crossing my fingers that they will), then our new babe in arms will be here December 2nd. There's a lot to do between now and then. A. LOT. The most pressing items for this week include readying some Halloween costumes (Addie has changed her mind once again on what she'd like to be) and preparing a lesson for Sunday since it's my turn to teach Relief Society. And notice that while both of these items are important, they make no mention of the million nesting tasks I feel compelled to take on currently. And they also make no mention of the fact that as the snow falls tomorrow so will my motivation to do anything. Better go make the most of a sunny day, perfect for some errand running and post-weekend cleaning.

Two lessons on Sunday

Addie and Sam both had insights at church today that made me smile.

During sacrament meeting Addie leaned over and asked, "Why does Heavenly Father invite us to His house every week?" This led to a whispered discussion about keeping the Sabbath day holy and worship and obedience. Her thought processes are so fun to watch right now and her little testimony is becoming more and more firmly rooted. It's so rewarding as a parent to see her grow spiritually.

Sam is back on the loving nursery track and has been running to his cute Chilean teachers as soon as sacrament meeting is over because he wants to go to class with them. He's even said he's thankful for nursery in his prayers and blesses all of his nursery teachers. Today he came home telling me all about his lesson about Noah. I think he missed out on the animals part a little because he was much more interested in the people who were on the boat, but maybe he's thinking of his own Noah's ark toy and all the Little People he tries to cram in the boat. He also mentioned something about the boat tipping over, and he cracked me up when he said that Noah gave the people umbrellas. "That covers you when it's raining, Mom," said like of course I couldn't have learned such a thing already.

Oh, these kids. Some Sundays really stink as a parent and make you wonder why you try, especially when so much of the meetings are spent in the hall. Sundays like today make me realize that it's all worth it. Hopefully I'll have a few more like this before I'm back to life in the hall and the mother's room in a couple months.

Six on Saturday

1. So grateful for warm weather this weekend! We decided it would be a great last chance to cook our favorite pulled pork, so we're looking forward to a delicious lunch today with Pat's family. Also in the line-up is some yard work, hopefully a tree planting, and maybe even a trip to the park for an hour. Ah, fall. As long as you don't bring back the 4 letter s word anytime soon, we might actually remain on good terms for a change.

2. Pat's parents and Matt and Chrissy made it back safely from Sweden this week. They had a great time, and we're excited everyone is home. Even more exciting was the treasures they brought us! The most gorgeous scarf, sweet monthly illustrated cards that will look so cute framed and rotated monthly, a fantastic tablecloth, and a fun reusable bag were all sweetly gifted, and I'm grateful to have generous and thoughtful family members.

3. On today's lunch menu is this mouth-watering recipe for dessert. I can't wait to try these out!

4. Laundry mountain is out of control. I've completed 3 loads of laundry and haven't folded a lick, just piled it higher. Now the basket is too heavy for me to heft around, so I'm going to have to split it up anyway. Most of the time laundry is just fine, and I hate when I let it go like this. Restoring order to the laundry room will hopefully be accomplished soon, too. I can't handle it much longer!

5. We had a blast this week at the Scarecrow Festival. I'm really good in my role as uptight mom who sticks to a schedule, and it was really nice to just let that go for the day. Addie was thrilled to get her face painted, Sam was thrilled to ride on a little toy train, both kids were happy with bounce houses and pony rides and wagon rides and games and lunch at the end. I'm starting to have that nostalgia that comes when a new baby is coming- I only have so much time left as a family of 4, and although I'm sure we'll wonder what we did without this new little guy, I've really enjoyed our little quartet for the past almost 3 years. I'm nervous to tip the balance, excited to see what his personality will add to our family, and I'm sure there will be moments when it's bittersweet to leave behind the 4 of us to become the 5 of us.

6. Did I mention we're at about 6 weeks to go? We've started talking about induction dates, and if I go that route then baby boy will join us probably 6 weeks from Monday. This is both exciting and terrifying to me, especially when I look at my to do list. I'm sure in about 4 weeks I'll just be excited because I'll be really uncomfortable. Until then, I'm sure I'll be busy!

Hope you're all having gorgeous weather this weekend!

A Few Tips on a Tuesday

-Candy corn+honey roasted peanuts= fall deliciousness (a trick learned from one of my favorite young women's leaders back in the day)

-My favorite Marinara, Barilla, is on sale at Macey's right now for $1.78. Actually all Barilla sauce is on sale for that price, and boxes of Barilla pasta (including whole grain pasta!)are .78. America's Test Kitchen has given Barilla's marinara its endorsement, and Barilla pasta is also widely touted as one of the best. I like when I can buy quality pantry staples on the cheap. Sale prices are through today. Head there fast to snatch some up. If they have none left, get a rain check (which maybe they'll do over the phone?). Or head to Wal-Mart and ad-match.

-Petit Elefant is giving away a Little Giraffe blanket. My nieces and nephews each have one, and it's so soft. I'd love to have one, too for this new little boy.

-This banner over at The Paper Nut is a perfect Halloween decoration, and with a few supplies that are probably laying around the house, it's basically free! (even though Halloween and I are not BFFs, I couldn't resist posting this cuteness.)

A Fall Friday

Today I...

-really need to deliver a few papers for church. I've had them for almost two weeks and still haven't gotten them to the right people. For shame.
-am trying to decide what sort of delicious creation will come out of the oven today. Are we going to have an easy dinner tonight or a night out, encouraging some sort of cookie baking? Or should I forget about dessert and save my culinary energy for some homemade mac and cheese? Because there's only so much energy of any sort to be had. Oh, the questions that plague me...
-should tackle my laundry room. It's always a catch-all zone. It's driving me crazy.
-would like to call an old friend who just moved into a new house in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't live hours from the closest town or store, but somehow she's making it work and putting down roots, and I admire her for being a supportive wife.
-am (embarrassingly) a little sore from bathing the kids this morning. Now I know why I've been waiting for Pat to bathe them lately.
-need to go make the kids lunch so I can drop Addie at school and enjoy a couple hours with my boy.
-need a quick change of clothes. My morning lounge-wear (read: sweatpants and big t-shirt) has lasted through too much of the morning today.
-have a lot of thoughts I'd like to record here. Maybe I'll make it back again today.
-hope to plan a fun weekend enjoying some of what fall has to offer. Hope yours is fab.

All boy...

Sam is really quite the boy these days. Playing with blocks and trucks and trains and little people are his favorite things. Most of the time his interests are more boy oriented, but sometimes I see the effects of having an older sister. Today after finishing his latest tower creation, he stood back admiring his work and exclaimed "ooh la la." A little too much Fancy Nancy in his life, I think. Maybe we'll read an extra truck book tonight.

Five for Friday

1. We're in single digit weeks left until this baby arrives. I'm getting more excited as it gets closer. I'm also increasing in panic mode thinking about the many things that need to be done. It's amazing that when your body is slowing down the most and looking the largest during a pregnancy you suddenly have the urge to clean carpets and install shelving and rearrange the whole house and a myriad of other things that require a lot of energy. One of those things in life that just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

2. In case you didn't know already, Halloween and I are not BFF's. I grew up in a place where it was nothing but scary, and maybe I played a part in that as a somewhat fearful child. At any rate, I'd much rather have some sort of apple-inspired Autumn fete. Maybe I'll post some inspiration next week, and if I'm feeling really motivated, maybe I'll put one together for friends. Who doesn't love anything apple related at this time of year.

3. I've been getting a little crafty lately. I've been on the search for storage containers for above my desk but hadn't found what I wanted, so I repurposed some other containers around the house, covered them all in pretty fabric, and got what I wanted. On the list for the weekend is this project with the abundance of indian corn from Pat's parents. Hopefully I'll find success and it won't blow away in the fall winds.

4. I love changing menus at this time of year. Soups and stews are here again. The grill is probably close to its seasonal retirement. Squash is making its appearance.

5. Can't wait for general conference this weekend. I need it!

Food love

I don't profess to be the greatest cook by any means, but I do enjoy making (and eating) good food, and I am continually adding to my arsenal of tried and true recipes. Here are a couple that I took to our ward mix and mingle over the weekend. The first is from my friend Kim whose kitchen is dubbed the test kitchen. She found it in the food section of her newspaper of all places, and now this soup is loved by many! It makes enough for a crowd, and I also love that it freezes well so I'll either freeze half and serve it for 2 dinners, or freeze what's left into smaller portions and Pat takes it to work for lunch.

Italian Sausage and Pasta Soup

Ingredients

Time: about an hour to prep and cook
Makes about 10 1-Cup servings.

• 1 lb hot or mild Italian sausage (can substitute turkey sausage)
• 3 medium carrots peeled and chopped
• 1 large onion, peeled and chopped (works with shallots or leeks, too)
• 3 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped or crushed
• 8 C lowfat or fat free chicken broth (I've subbed chicken bouillon with fine results)
  
• 1 15 oz can diced tomatoes
• 1 15 oz can cannellini beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 T dried basil
• 1 ½ C large shell pasta
• 6 oz spinach leaves, rinsed and slightly chopped (I use bagged baby spinach, and I've also added grated zucchini when I haven't had spinach)
  
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Grated parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Squeeze sausages from their casings into a 5-6 qt pan over high heat and stir often, breaking up sausages with a spoon. Cook until brown and crumbly. Spoon out and discard all but 1 T fat from pan.
2. Add carrots, onion and garlic; stir often until onion is limp, 5-7 mins.
3. Add broth, basil, tomatoes (including juice), and beans and bring to a boil.
4. Add pasta, reduce heat and simmer, covered, stirring occasionally until pasta is just enter to the bite about 10 mins. Skim and discard any fat.
5. Stir in spinach and cook just until it is wilted, about 30 seconds.
6. Add salt and pepper to taste. Garnish with parmesan.

This recipe for cheesecake is fantastic. I was highly disappointed that there was none left to take home on Friday night- it was one of the best I've ever made. I found this recipe on my friend Hannah's cooking club blog. Hannah is an excellent cook, and she is in a cooking club with other fabulous cooks, so I love to browse their blog for inspiration. Here is the recipe as shared on their blog (all notes belong to the original chef)- I take no credit for it, but I do love to make it, and even without any toppings it's incredible!

NEW YORK CHEESECAKE

FILLING
2 lbs cream cheese
3/4 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 cup sour cream
CRUST
1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
6 tablespoons melted butter
1/4 cup white sugar

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Mix graham cracker crumbs, melted butter and 1/4 cup sugar in a small
bowl. Press the mixture into the bottom of a 9 or 10 inch springform
pan. Place in freezer for 10 minutes.
Cream 3/4 cup of sugar and cream cheese until smooth. Beat in eggs one
at a time, add vanilla and cornstarch until just mixed. Stir in sour
cream until blended. Pour into prepared crust.
Bake at 400 for 45 minutes. Watch that the top doesn't turn too dark,
cover loosely with aluminum foil if it starts to turn brown. Turn oven
off and leave door ajar (remove aluminum foil for 3 hours. Serve with
your favorite topping.

My husband calls this "Better The Next Day Cheesecake" and it's true.
If you chill the cheesecake overnight the flavors meld together and
it's even better than if you eat it fresh. Don't worry, the calories
cook out! Also if you're doing party food, you can do mini
cheesecakes. Just omit the crust part of the recipe and use 'Nilla
Wafers. Line a cupcake pan with paper liners, add a 'Nilla Wafer to
the bottom of the cupcake liner and fill the cup 3/4 full of the
cheesecake mixture. Bake until the top starts to turn brown and let
cool on the counter. Top with your favorite fruit and serve.

A Few Items of Business

I did a little housekeeping today around the blog. Cleaned up the links to only show the private blogs, since everything else is in my reader. Shared a few links for creative geniuses I have the privilege of knowing. Crafted a new statement about me, since pretty soon I'll be a mom to more than 2 kids, and with each passing day teaching feels like more of a distant memory. That was enough for today, but there may be more soon.

Did a little tidying around the house today, too, although not as much as I need to. Definitely a lot of dust around here that needs stirred up. Vacuumed crevices of my couches that haven't seen a vacuum for a while. Final count of found items: 4 twistable crayons, 1 pen, 1 pencil, 1 piece to a quite book, 8 popsicle sticks (for crafting, not remnants of past-eaten treats), and countless crumbs. I purged about a dozen sippy-cups. Sometimes those things just need cycled. This new little boy will get his own down the line. I have the urge to rearrange every cupboard and drawer in my kitchen. Then I'll move on to my laundry room. And on and on throughout the house until things are tidy again. Nesting much?

And while the weather is 100% perfect outside I should probably attempt to clean up this eyesore we've been calling a yard. Next summer we are most definitely getting some outdoor furniture and a nice big umbrella so we can spend time outside with a little shade. Tomatoes are still on which makes me all sorts of happy and inspires prayers to avoid a frost for a while.

I've been starting on some Christmas shopping since December will most likely be a blur of newborn sweetness and twinkly lights and baked goods. I need to finalize my list of plans so I can know what to be hunting for and maybe get a little crafty for a few gifts.

Feeling super grateful that Pat's meds are seeming to make a difference. I'm becoming a smoothie-maker extraordinaire since that's all he can manage to choke down his probiotic in. He consumes over a trillion bacteria a day, and thankfully these little guys couples with some steroids are inspiring improvement. Hopefully soon the steroids will be gone and the probiotic will be enough to keep it all good.

Autumn makes trials seem so much more poignant to me. (well, probably autumn and pregnancy if we're being realistic) Lots going on with people I know- a sweet lady from church who just found out that she may only have 3 months left because her cancer is progressing and her treatment isn't working. Another going through affects of aging much sooner than she should. Struggles with jobs and relationships and health and all sorts of things. I wish I had enough hours/means/inspiration to make it all better. In the mean time I'll share food and prayers and visits, things I definitely know how to do.

Happy Thursday

Five for Friday

1. I found out this week that the placenta has moved, so things are good to go. Can't believe that I scheduled my next appointment for 2 weeks away- am I really that far along already? Craziness.

2. I'm trying to slowly but surely embrace the brown that my hair has become. My view of myself includes my hair being blonde, so it's quite the identity shift (as admittedly shallow as that sounds). Today I added quite a bit during my cut and color. And I chopped off a couple inches. It's a nice change!

3. Sam and Addie got a good dose of outside play in yesterday morning, thanks to a friend in the ward. I think I need to send them over daily- Sam ate voraciously after we got home and then took an amazing nap, and his napping is already nothing to complain about. It was so nice!

4. I'm hoping to squeeze in some work around the house this weekend. Embarrassing statistic: my windows have been washed zero times since moving into our house almost 4 years ago. Shameful. I'm thinking that definitely needs to be remedied before the baby comes. I'll probably be shocked by how bright the sun is once my windows are clean.

5. I'm not the most avid football fan you'll ever meet, but can I just comment on my Cougar pride this year? I just love that BYU. I think a trip to campus is in order soon including a visit to the creamery. Provo makes me feel like fall, and since it starts next week, I guess I need a few things to get me in the fall mood.

The Questions You Know are Coming

Due to my growing belly and her growing curiosity, Addie and I have had some interesting conversations recently. A few weeks ago I was doing my make-up and Addie came in to use the bathroom. "Let's talk, Mom," she stated while doing her business. She tells me this a lot lately, wanting to soak things up and see what stories and knowledge we have to share, but I found her timing interesting considering I don't usually engage in deep conversation while using the bathroom, I guess.

When I inquired what she'd like to talk about, she began her own inquisition, the one that every parent knows is coming, but isn't sure when or how. "How does a baby get in a mommy's body?" She didn't use those same cliche words, but I knew I was about to embark on the road of "Where do baby's come from?". I'd pondered this scenario many times, knowing how I'd like things to be open and honest and informative, but also knowing I didn't want to offer a drink from a fire hose when really she just wanted a water fountain. I decided to go with less is more and expand upon my explanations if her questions continued.

"Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other," I heard myself begin, words from the script you hear teased about, but I really couldn't think of a better lead in while I tried to act normal and continued applying eye shadow. "Heavenly Father wants His children to come to earth and get a body, so when a mommy and a daddy love each other they work together with Heavenly Father and He helps them have a baby."

Did I say enough? Was I about to be shot down with a rapid-fire of questions? "Did I answer your question, Addie?" She focused on tearing toilet paper and the task at hand. "Yeah, mom." Long pause while she finished up, flushed the toilet. "The potty answered my question. Hahahaha." Potty humor won out again, but I think I handled our first foray into the birds and the bees respectably.

This post is prompted by the latest assignment in the school days seminar. And yes, as per the last prompt, Addie has asked how the baby will get out. At this point she knows that the doctor will help the baby get out- sticking with my water fountain vs. fire hose approach (really the midwife will help the baby out this time, but I'm not quite sure how to explain the difference in a way that would be meaningful to her, so we'll stick to doctor this time). I'm sure I'm in for many more questions as we make it through the next 10 or 11 weeks...

Nostalgia

Addie is really enjoying preschool this year. I'm really enjoying her preschool, too. She comes home so full of enthusiasm and new knowledge. I knew it was going to be a good year on day 1. They have a theme everyday, and the theme for the day was songs. Although we sing a lot around here, when Addie came home I realized I had neglected one of my childhood favorites. We watched Puff over and over on Youtube, Mary in the gold sequined coat I remembered from the favorite PBS special of my youth, Peter and Paul goofy and folksy alongside her. Then we watched more. Blowin' in the Wind, Right Field, If I Had a Hammer. Suddenly I was 6 again. Over the past few weeks I've loved listening to Sam sing "Puff da Ma-geek Da-gon" and Addie making up her own rocking variations on the same melody. Thanks, Mary, for this piece of my childhood soundtrack, now shared with my own kids.

Five for Friday

Really, I'm hoping to blog on days besides Friday. This is just my rhythm right now, I guess, so we'll go with it.

1. I've arrived at 28 weeks and my third trimester. I have an ultrasound Monday to make sure the placenta has moved, and also the lovely glucose test. They've expanded beyond just the orange nastiness and added another flavor, so I decided to try the new fruit punch variety this time.

2. This week I've been humbled and reminded of Heavenly Father's mindfulness of each of us. Pat's Crohns has been flaring, so we laid low Monday, Pat worked from home Tuesday, and he's been making it through the rest of the week. I was feeling frustrated on Wednesday for a lot of reasons. Dealing with a chronic illness is hard. There is nothing I can do for him to make things better. His doctor is often difficult to get into, and I knew even if I called we may not get in for a few weeks. We weren't sure when his next appointment was because it didn't make it to the calendar. I had a pretty good pity party going Wednesday and decided dinner making was not going to happen, but self-medicating at Kneader's most definitely was. While I was out picking up my first loaf of caramel apple bread of the season, we received a message from Central Utah Clinic, the robotic voice informing us that Pat had an appointment with his doctor the next day. I was so grateful. I still am. We went to his appointment yesterday and left with a few new medicines to try, and a lot of plans to make things better soon. Gratitude filled in the spaces where self-pity had been dwelling thanks to a loving Heavenly Father.

3. Today I got to spread the Costco gospel with a good friend and {gasp} Costco virgin. It was lovely. While there I made this even better discovery. Costco has the CHI right now for 59.99. Cheaper than I've ever seen it anywhere, and I've watched in Amazon for about 2 years, always too cheap to take the plunge. But today I did. And I promise not to open it until Christmas. Unless I'm feeling really desperate. And right after I have a baby and feel gross I may feel desperate. But let's not focus on that.

4. Tomorrow Pat's work is having an open house. Lots of simulators and cool geeky things. He'll be in heaven. I'll enjoy the bbq. The kids have been talking about seeing dad's work for weeks because we're not allowed to go there (security clearances, etc.), so it really will be cool to see where he goes everyday while we miss him at home.

5. Our tomatoes are on right now and I'm so excited. If anyone has a fantastic marinara recipe, please share. I'd love to freeze some, but I'm a little worried that the variety of my large tomatoes (better boys, I think) are too watery for this sauce. Oh, and any ideas on how to use cucumber that are not your favorite variety are also appreciated. I don't want to toss them, but they don't have the crisp crunch I love in a cucumber.


Happy Weekend

Five for Friday

Sorry about the absence. Here are a few snippets from the past little while, and don't worry, the wedding will be blogged about soon with its own post!

1. I've been busy laying low in an attempt to recover from the wedding and trying to catch up on everything that's been neglected around here. I think I've been successful in recovering- I'm back to feeling good and can't believe that I'm due 3 months from tomorrow. Who knows if December 5th will actually be the day, but it's nice to know that in hopefully 3 months or less we'll have a new sweet boy around here. It's got my nesting instincts kicking in- lots to do before then!

2. Sam is cracking me up lately. Last night he asked me to sleep in his crib with him (yes, item #1 on the list is to get him moved to a big boy bed pronto). When I informed him I couldn't fit he started laughing and said, "Just teasing, mom." And he really is such a tease. His sense of humor and personality are just exploding right now. Nursery is improving (knock on wood) and I'm enjoying time with my boy. When Addie's at school I'm trying to soak him up and give him my undivided attention. Wednesday I had hopes of running errands after we dropped Addie off, but Sam wanted no parts of it. Instead I let him choose and he took me on a date to Wines Park and then to Sonic for a drink. And I have to say, I agree with him- it was much more fun than errands.

3. Addie is back to school and loving it. Really, truly loving it. Thriving. Learning. It's so fun to see her come home and spout off the life cycle of a frog or the reasons why dinosaurs are extinct. Switching to a different preschool this year has been a great change for her. I admit the kinds of things she's learning are the things that I really thought I'd be teaching her as a mom. Before having kids I imagined all sorts of themed days full of exploration and discovery. It makes me a little sad to realize I am not that kind of mom. Maybe one day. Addie has also been extremely helpful lately (on her terms, of course). Maybe she has her own nesting going on because in the past week she's organized the toy closet, cleaned her room (which currently needs cleaned again), and started to tidy up my room. What a girl!

4. Although I've been reading so many farewell summer posts, I really don't feel that way at all. Instead, I feel like I'm clinging to the last bits and not wanting fall to arrive and weather to change for a while. I need a few more warm days to sit outside and get wet with the kids and to eat more tomatoes and more fruit and more hamburgers and more ice cream and to not dress in layers and wear lots of ponytails and to be a little lazy with no excuses necessary, just because it's summer. I'm really hoping to squeeze everything I can out of the next few weeks before fall officially arrives. And I have a lot of green tomatoes that had better hurry and get red before the cold comes!

5. I've got my own version of back to school going. The class series I was most interested in during this 12 week seminar is Thursdays on Home and Family Relations (although all of the topics are excellent and I really could benefit from each one). Yesterday's homework was meant to be done privately, but I may have some of these posts popping up on my blog in the future. Check it out and get in on the fun. I thought the whole concept went along perfectly with last month's visiting teaching message about life long learning. I've felt myself neglecting that pursuit lately, so I was excited when I came across this course series which totally filled my need for learning and growth.

Have a fantastic weekend. Pat has today off, so it's a 4 day weekend for us- love it! Hoping for lots of play and lots of work. With a pedicure already scheduled for tomorrow morning and date night tonight, I think things are off to a great start!

31

I know, I know, a lot to catch up on. Until I'm back in the swing of things, I had to give a birthday shout out to Patrick. This man was a rock star throughout all of the wedding stuff this past weekend. He is one of the hardest workers I know. He's good at lightening the mood when I get too serious, and good at making me laugh, even if his jokes are totally corny. He's an incredible dad. He's fiercely loyal. I'm so grateful for him and what his next 31 years may hold!

A Few Musings While Pregnant and Crazy

-Wedding preparation is in full swing. I'm at full stress, I think. Running errands all day is getting harder and harder right now. I'm sure after it's done I'll be so excited to get back and post pictures of how amazing everything turned out. Right now I can't wait for it to be done. :)

-Today I put on a new pair of maternity pants purchased when not pregnant and put them on. They were big 6 weeks ago and now they don't fit. After I took them off I pulled out the pants I save for about month 8 of pregnancy, thinking surely they'd still be a little baggy. They fit perfectly. I'll try not to dwell on this fact as I continue to search for appropriate wedding attire.

-I had a breakdown this week while driving. Going downhill is not my favorite in any aspect of life- water slides, ice blocking, and mountain driving all give me anxiety (although for some reason, maybe because I'm strapped in so securely, I don't mind roller coasters). I was running wedding errands with my mom and the kids this week and saw what I thought would be a frontage road between two towns. Instead it was a road that connected them by driving over a mountain. I started ascending and realized my mistake, but it was too late. I did ok going up, but by the time I started down I was a sobbing mess. I looked out and all I could see was sky and I totally lost it. We made it down safely, but I think I've had as much high adventure as I can handle while pregnant.

Flying Solo

Pat's out of town, which means survival mode around these parts. Yesterday wasn't too bad with church as our main event of the day and dinner with cousins to keep everyone distracted. I did however experience my first heartburn of this pregnancy with a little too much chocolate last night. Today our distractions included a morning donut run, lunch with grandpa (his birthday present is BLT lunches for the week- his favorite summer lunch), a few small errands, and lots of reading. Hopefully tomorrow will fly by without too many meltdowns and early bedtimes so I can have my presidency meeting here in peace. Wednesday my mom will be here and we'll be in full wedding prep mode, and Pat gets back late Wednesday night. I'm definitely not cut out to do this gig alone!

Found

-Beautiful blue glass canning jars. And how random that I had read this post about them earlier in the day?

-Scraps of great vintage fabric

-Orange scrapbook paper sure to find some good use for the upcoming orange and white wedding

-An old-fashioned flour sifter with the crank handle

-A shirt for Sam

-A sweater for Addie

-A girly pillow covered in yo-yo's in various pink fabrics (not sure why I brought this home since I'm getting ready for a gender neutral room with Addie and Sam sharing, but it was too cute to leave there)

-A book entitled "Marihuana and Health"

Found where you may ask? At the church swap meet. Fantastic night.

Swapping

I'm in full clean-out mode getting ready for the swap meet tonight. I'd love to get rid of stuff. And I'd love even more to find a few good treasures to bring home. This kind of thing is so much fun to me. I'll keep you posted on my finds. Back to cleaning out. Oh, and making some signs to designate where certain kinds of "treasures" should be piled.

Opened Eyes

"God will help us see a difference in someone else not as a source of irritation but as a contribution. The Lord can help you see and value what another person brings which you lack. More than once the Lord has helped me see His kindness in giving me association with someone whose difference from me was just the help I needed. That has been the Lord’s way of adding something I lacked to serve Him better."

Henry B. Eyring, “Our Hearts Knit as One,” Ensign, Nov. 2008, 70–71

Having been super irritable lately (this pregnancy is sure bringing out the grumps), this was just what I needed to come through my reader this morning. I think I'll work on it this weekend. I'm sure my family and friends will appreciate it.

Happy Weekend!

Three for Thursday

1. A lot of shopping is going on lately in preparation for my brother's wedding. The colors are orange and white, and I feel like every store I walk into I'm instantly drawn to anything orange seeing if it's something we can potentially use. It will be nice to shop in full color again.

2. The curb appeal of my home is currently sorely lacking. I haven't watered my pot out front lately and its contents are all wilting. Our bushes are extremely overgrown. We have a weed problem which fertilizer with weed control hasn't fixed, and we haven't pursued it any further. There's a gaping hole in our landscaping from a tree we took out since we still haven't planted anything in its place, and I don't think we will until the weather cools down a little. I need to give the yard a little TLC.

3. Today was not my finest as a mom. One of those days I need to keep track of just to keep it real. Lots of tantrums. Lots of disobeying. Lots of naughty messes (writing on bodies, the inside of the car window, pulling apart cassette tapes, water everywhere, and that's just the beginning). I'm tired. And I'm ready for tomorrow. Hopefully some fun can make its way into our day- I need it!

Seven

Seven years ago I woke up early. Beautification takes time, you know. Seven years ago you picked me up in the 626 and we headed to the temple for a whole lot of picture taking. I still laugh thinking about you wearing your suit and tux because you didn't want to wear your tux into the temple and you refused to put on your suit in the car of the temple parking lot. Seven years ago we were married, but more than just married we were sealed. Forever still sounds good to me. Seven years ago more picture taking commenced. We didn't mind since we couldn't wipe the grins off our faces, anyway. Seven years ago we hid our car in the garage of the Inn at Temple Square and walked across the street to our reception. It was fun to see the heads turn and the contagious excitement that comes from seeing a bride and groom. Seven years ago we were surrounded by the most important people in our lives as we celebrated the beginning of our life together. I couldn't have asked for more.
It's been seven years and you still make me laugh, often with the same jokes you've been telling for more than seven years. Seven years has brought us 2.5 kids and a whole new dimension to our relationship. I fell in love with you all over again when you became a dad. Watching you with our kids is my joy. It's been seven years and you're still my safe place, my sounding board, and my calm. You still look at me with tenderness. You still think I'm beautiful despite my currently rounded belly and the stretch marks that have found permanent homes in sundry places. I love you more today than my self 7 years ago could have possibly understood.

happy anniversary

Five for Friday

1. This is the first week in I don't know how long that we haven't had somewhere to be any night of the week. It's been heavenly! A much needed break, for sure.

2. My kids are Star Wars obsessed, and Pat couldn't be more pleased. I walked into Sam's room earlier this week when he woke up and he sang Darth Vader's theme song to me. Then he said, "That's Darf Vader's song. On Tar Wars." He's also busy turning every pencil into a light saber. In the mean time, Addie's been explaining the family tree to me. "First there way a boy Annakin, and then he turned into Darth Vader, and he had two kids, Luke and Princess Leia." I don't think I knew those kinds of things until I was 16.

3. I was lucky enough to nab some perennial starts from a sweet friend this week. I should've looked at the forecast ahead of time- 100 degree temps are not good for stressed out little starts. Some of them are doing great, some of them I continue to water with hopes that they will somehow be resurrected. Not sure how likely that is.

4. I found out this week I have placenta previa. Hopefully this placenta moves in the next couple of months to let this baby boy come out. We'll take another peek at 28 weeks to see where things are at- 7 more weeks to go.

5. Yesterday the kids and I took a trip to DI and had a blast. I forget all of the treasures to be found there. I went in search of milk glass containers for my brother's wedding. I left with one little white pitcher, a stack of books, and a semi-flat ball that Sam couldn't part with. My favorite find of the day was a children's book on baptism from the 1960s. The illustrations were awesome. I think we may need to start going weekly. I can blame my trips there on my milk glass search, right?

Where we've been, where we're going

Summer is in hyper-drive around here. It's been a good, busy week, with another good, hopefully not quite as busy week in the future.

This week I have...
-had a fantastic committee meeting for Enrichment and gotten totally excited about our upcoming Swap Meet! Now I have a bee in my bonnet to do some cleaning out.
-taken a lovely trip to IKEA (with the best of company) and purchased a duvet cover/pillow case/flat sheet for a whopping $2.99 a set, with the inspiration of turning said set into quilts like this for Addie and Sam's soon-to-be shared room. Bunk bed shopping is in full swing and I'm hoping these quilts turn out fabulously (especially since I'm planning to hire them out- I haven't touched my quilt since I've been in this calling, and I don't really see that changing right now).
-watched Addie at gymnastics. Persistence isn't something she's mastered yet- she starts out strong in her exercises and ends up skipping through things by her 10th time around. Not quite sure how to improve upon that, but I think she's enjoying herself. She's been on my mind a lot these days, and I really hope I'm doing right by my girl.
-restaurant-hopped with two of my favorite people. So sad to be saying good-bye to one as she embarks on a cross-country move. But man we had a fun night- I don't know that we'd ever run out of things to say during all of our girl talk.
-ran into a friend while making a return at Target. She just had baby #3 a week ago, and was already looking great. Seeing her 3 kids in/around the cart made me realize that will be my reality in a while. I think I'm currently content for the baby to be inside for a while longer, because 3 is seeming overwhelming. What was I thinking?!?
-relaxed in the chair during my cut and color. Nothing too drastic (not supposed to make drastic changes when pregnant, right?) but all cleaned up which feels good.
-grocery shopped, cleaned, and readied the house for my brother, our house-guest this weekend. My step-sister is getting married tomorrow, and our weekend is full of wedding festivities. I hope we don't melt too much with the weather in the 100s.

Hope you stay cool and soak up some summer this weekend.

Five for Friday

1. We are inundated with weddings this summer. We had one a couple of weeks ago. During the month of July we have 3. Then we have a break for a couple weeks and we're off to Idaho again for my brother's wedding in August. So excited for all the happy couples, but I think a wedding-filled summer has caught me off guard since we haven't had one for a few years.

2. The 4th of July was great. I didn't really mention it earlier, but our meal was fantastic, the treats just kept coming, the kids were in heaven playing together, and we had really nice visits with family. It was probably one of the best we've had in a while- loved how relaxing and perfect it was.

3. I went to Girls' Camp with the Relief Society Presidency for an afternoon/evening this week and had a great time. The girls in our ward are really great, and we played tons of fun games and then had a nice presentation at the end. We took letters to each of the girls from a woman in the ward, and they were all so touched that someone would've written a letter specifically to them- it was really neat for them. And Heber is beautiful! Pat's dad actually initiated the purchase of the land and helped in the development of our camp when he was the stake president, so it was fun to feel that connection to it while I was there.

4. We have our ultrasound this afternoon. Come back later and I'll add #5 to tell you what we're having!

5. It's a boy. :)

Greatest desires

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Several months ago when Pat's aunt passed away, her daughter spoke powerful words at her funeral that have stuck with me. She remembered her mother as a virtuous woman who "looketh well to the ways of her household" (Proverbs 31:27), who let virtue garnish her thoughts unceasingly (Doctrine and Covenants 121:45), and who had courage and strength as she followed Christ (Proverbs 31:17). It was a wonderful tribute to a wonderful woman, full of grace and truth and beauty. Since that occasion, virtue has been in the back of my mind. As we were driving to Idaho I was trying to work on my upcoming Relief Society lesson and told him, "I think I'm going to teach on [insert long pause, tears, and squeaky voice] virtue." He's getting used to the increase of tears lately with the hormones (a few weeks ago at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House I was trying to tell him that Kneader's baked all the cookies for the reception at the end and totally lost it), but this time they my emotion was justified as I'd truly been touched while studying about virtue. Today I had the opportunity to teach Relief Society on this topic.
Even in the past few weeks as I've been thinking more about virtue, it's been amazing some of the subtle changes I've seen. I've studied the many definitions of virtue, the numerous positive qualities embodied by a virtuous woman. I've thought of examples of virtuous women I've known, the kind of women that have magnetic personalities, not because they are seeking attention loudly, but because their quiet dignity is so welcoming. These are the women who seem to be nothing but goodness. Women who make you feel important and loved as soon as you are with them, and who leave you wanting to be better than you were before. Women who are bold in their testimonies and can stand up for right, but who don't go around shouting their message. Women who delight in their home and family and are motivated to do so by love. Women who are not distracted by things that don't really matter and always make time for things that matter most. There is nothing off-putting, only welcoming. There is nothing hard or harsh, but instead gentleness and tenderness. I loved this quote used in my lesson today.

“Virtue begins in the heart and in the mind. It is nurtured in the home. It is the accumulation of thousands of small decisions and actions.”

- Elaine S. Dalton, “A Return to Virtue,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 78–80

I am excited to embark on the return to virtue. Today we challenged all of the sisters in Relief Society to complete the goals associated with virtue, and what a truly awesome program we're in for over the next 6 months. These are the changes I need to be making. Right now my greatest desire is to become a virtuous woman, but I know that it is truly that, a process of becoming.

Kid hilarity

Sam is cracking me up lately with his zest for life. The first thing I hear in the mornings lately when I go into his room is "Mama! I wuv Mama!" This same enthusiasm is carried throughout the day from activity to activity. "Trains! I wuv trains!" "Addie! I wuv Addie!" Today gave me pause when I was carrying some things in from the car and Sam said, "Heaby tings (Heavy things)! I wuv heaby tings!" Oh, if I could have the same passion for everything I come across.

Addie is currently my shadow. For instance, did you know that Addie's sister Beth Ann just got married, too (Beth Ann was the bride in the wedding we attended over the weekend)? Or did you know that today Addie just needed to make one quick phone call because there's a funeral at the church on Twooooosday, not Friday (and can you tell what I've been doing this week, although the funeral in our ward is on Friday)? Or did you know that Addie's currently planning a party for her friends and would like to plan who's coming and what to eat and some decorations? She is really taking it all in right now and keeping me on my toes.

You can't buy this kind of entertainment. Truly, these two bring me joy.

A Few Details

Lots going on, but a quick trip recap to look back on later.

During our trip to Idaho:
-We attended a gorgeous wedding. The food was great, flowers were lovely, and the bride was stunning (not to mention her maid of honor- my dear friend Amy!).
-We met my brother's fiancee for the first time and started talking about details for their wedding. We laughed at Ben's cheapness in planning and were glad that such a nice girl is joining the family.
-We played at the park and Addie became instantly enamored with my dad when he pushed her on the swing for 30 glorious uninterrupted minutes.
-We said and listened to the kids say sweet prayers for Pat as he has been dealing with a Crohn's flare, making travel a lot less fun.
-We got our dry cleaning done for cheap- $7 total for my hand-washed dress plus Pat's suit. (Why don't we have cheap dry cleaning places in UT?)
-We were pleasantly surprised by how well the kids did in the car and definitely enjoyed Sam's 2 hour snooze on the way home.
-We were glad the kids did so well with Moe, my mom's dog- much better than our last visit.
-We were well taken care of by my Mom.
-We lived it up and bought 2 cartons of ice cream on a trip to the grocery store instead of just one- oh the joys of vacation!
-We were happy to come back to our own bed.

Great trip, getting back in the swing of things this week. Lots I hope to share soon!

Home Again, Home Again

Back from a 5 day jaunt to the ID for time with family+friends. Lots to share, but for now check out this cute article all about my grandpa that ran in today's paper in his West Virginia town. Deep inside, there is a green thumb in my genes. I'm trying to coax it out.

June Bug

Already mid-June? How can it be? A quick re-cap of what we've been up to.

-Made delicious food for a baby shower at the end of May. I'll have to share some recipes when I get a chance. Despite one recipe having to be made again, our time table worked out and the food was well-received. I'm coming back to the kitchen finally!
-Started off June with a visit from my mom while I was in a full on frenzy for Enrichment. Our Fair and Delightsome activity was a smashing success, and my mom had fun with the kids for a couple days. Win-win.
-Enjoyed visiting with Chrissy's family while everyone was in town for the twins' blessings. Those are two sweet babies- I love any chance to be around them, and I really love being around all of these fun sisters. It really makes me hope that Addie gets a sister because I realize how much I missed out on! We also made pulled pork and man I love an excuse to pull out all the stops and bring that recipe to the table.
-Watched Addie's love for gymnastics grow while she's in a class this summer. She's now professing that she'd like to take gymnastics for 20 years. I've only committed through the end of July.
-Refereed a few battles between the kids. I'm really needing to implement some structure to our summer to cut down on their skirmishes!
-Had an amazing dining experience at Spark to celebrate my 27th this weekend. Pat said that if he blogged, this would definitely be blog-worthy. Our food was beyond fantastic, and we're already trying to plan when we can go back. After dinner, we drove up Provo canyon for a bit and admired the lovely green still covering the mountains, then rented a movie, stocked up on treats, and cuddled up in front of "Bedtime Stories". We honestly haven't watched a movie together for probably a year, and this was a fairly amusing one. It was a really nice date.

Lots more to catch up on, but off to run some errands and get ourselves out of this house before the rain begins again!

Highs and Lows

I'm not trying to turn into a Friday-only poster, but it sure is working out that way lately. A few highs and lows to send you into the weekend.

Highs
-Hearing the heartbeat this week! In the 150s, so now I've got to dig out my appointment books from Addie and Sam and try to deduce based on heart rate if I think we have a boy or a girl.
-Currently on day 3 of no barfing- let's hope this trend continues!
-Being in the height of party season. One tomorrow, a birthday dinner Sunday, a big Relief Society Fair next week, and a post-blessing celebration next weekend for my favorite twins. Good food and sunshine are in my future.
-Kids making me laugh. Like Addie being so excited to "repent" a movie this week, and then we can have a "cativity" to watch it. Or Sam being apologetic on another day of nap-strike and then telling me with a devilish grin after seeing my disappointment in his nap-less state, "Don't hurt me! Hahahaha." Or when I put Sam to bed and he asks me to "stay one more minute. Two times." Where does he come up with this stuff?
-Reclaiming the house some now that I'm starting to feel a little better. Scrubbed the kitchen floor on hands and knees! Caught up about 6 loads of laundry! Made dinner more than once this week!
-Pat only having a 3 day work week with a Monday holiday and his normal Friday off. Yippee!
-A last minute Park City trip with seriously successful shopping including the perfect gift selection for Pat's mom's 65th birthday- she got shivers over her gorgeous new coach bag, and my sister-in-law and I felt the success of a good gift given.

Lows
-Tons on the to-do list. All the parties require a lot of effort coming up. Hopefully I can plan accordingly and manage only one trip to Costco in the coming days.
-Sam being on nap strike all week. I'm not ready for this!
-Swallows attempting to nest on my porch again. This means war.

Good definitely outweighed the bad this week! Hope your weekend is full of goodness!