Month End

The lack of blogging probably explains how the month of October went around here. So much to say. October 8th my dad moved to a nursing home/rehab facility for 90 days to hopefully gain access to a long-term assisted living program. There's a whole lot of blood/sweat/tears behind that story which I hope to record at some point, but for now I will just say that I feel more like myself than I have in months, and that is a very good thing. Things long neglected are starting to get some attention again. The rest of the month has really been a blur. Some of the highlights include Sam getting tubes, some gorgeous fall weather, food preservation via home made marinara, "sun" dried tomatoes, and apple sauce (with probably a few more batches of apple sauce and maybe one last batch of roasted tomato soup in my future), Charlie waving for the past few weeks and just today learning to clap, cooking classes, baby showers, time with friends, and lots more goodness. Be back soon. I have a lot to catch up on.

A Good Woman

"A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently." -Julie Beck

I came across this quote this morning which I've loved since Sister Beck shared it at the last General Conference. The phrase "her heart yearns to do" leapt off the page. That's the current struggle I'm having. My heart yearns to do so many things- acts of service like meals for families with new babies and tending kids for people to attend the temple and making treats to deliver to my neighbors. My heart yearns to take each of my kids individually for their own quiet afternoon to read and play and bake and talk. My heart yearns for nights in bed talking until all hours with Pat instead of falling asleep from exhaustion as soon as our heads hit the pillow. Those things will come again. But I think it's part of why it's so hard to have my days filled with phone calls and paperwork right now- I yearn for something more and something better. I know where I want my priorities to be, but with other pressing concerns I'm unsure of how to get them there. I have a hard time being a good woman and accepting the fact that I don't have enough resources to do all of what I want to do. It's a hard lesson to learn and I think a hard thing to admit- that we can't do it all. I suppose that right now is helping me learn that reality and become that good woman. At least, I hope so.

Excited to soak up General Conference this weekend and [hopefully] not worry about anything else.