Pat is Great

Forgive the old pic (circa April 2006 with a pouting baby Addie), but as I was perusing old pictures, I discovered how very few pictures we have of Pat or myself, but especially Pat because he seems to be chief picture taker around these parts. However, back to the title of my post. When Patrick and I were dating, I'd come home every night and say to my roommates "Pat is so great. Isn't he great?" and then I'd enumerate the latest and greatest things he'd done and what a quality human being I found him to be. They teased me mercilessly (I was the first of the roommates to get married), and they changed the words from Bill Cosby's infamous "Dad is great, he gives us chocolate cake" ditty to be "Pat is great" and then fill in the blank. Some of their favorite phrases included "Christina he likes to date" or "We should bake him a chocolate cake" or "Some day you'll procreate." Original, eh? I even had his ring engraved to say Pat is great.

But back to Patrick. I've been thinking a lot about our marriage lately. When we were first married, people always asked us how the first year was going, and they constantly told us how hard the first year is and oodles of other things I've added to the list of things not to tell newlyweds. We always heard people talking about marriage being hard work, and I never really understood what they were talking about. To us, loving each other was easy, and there were trials that we went through, but it really didn't feel like work to get through them. After 5 years of marriage, I think I've finally figured out the work aspect of marriage. By figured out, I don't mean figured out how to do it, just figured out that there actually is work involved and that the effortless love we've enjoyed needs a little more nurturing than it used to. I hope this isn't coming out in a bad way, because that's definitely not how I mean it. Instead, I've just realized how our already good relationship can become even better by putting a little extra effort into it. Today our lesson in Relief Society was the Spencer W. Kimball lesson on marriage. It was really good and made me think more about the little things I can do that can show my abundance of love for my husband.

I think it was Hannah's blog that talked about the 100 days challenge, and one of the things that was listed under the daily section was daily acts of service for your spouse. That really stuck out to me, because I feel like we do things for each other every day, but they're not always anything extra special, or anything over the top to give a little extra helping of love, just part of the routine. I often think I do the laundry, dishes, make dinner, cleaning, etc., and so I'm serving my spouse, but really, that's serving our family and myself, not specifically him. So I'm thinking about things I can do to serve just him. I love the saying about giving your spouse the best of you instead of what's left of you. I'm often guilty of just giving Pat what's left of me everyday instead of the best of me. Yes, there are realities of marriage, and after a hard day, I'll probably be less likely to be giving my best, but I want to try. He's worth it. I'm worth it. Our marriage is worth it. Our family is worth it. I feel so blessed to have a husband who loves even what's left of me, imagine how happy he'll be if he gets the best of me. I've got a lot I can work on to be a better wife. I'm so blessed to have a partner who'll be with me while I learn. We teased each other when we would confront a new challenge when we first got married "last time I did this it was a complete disaster." Pat said it to me when I was feeling bad about being inadequate about one of my new wife duties (I can't even remember what it was, now), and he always knows how to make me laugh and lighten the mood so we can figure things out. He said it meaning that he'd never been a husband before either, and we're figuring out the challenges of being a spouse and a parent together- we're both doing some of these things for the first time, and we're learning together.

I love you, Patrick. Thank you for loving me. You've made my life so rich. I am truly blessed to have you by my side.