It's waning...

My optimism, that is. Prepare to listen to me gripe for a few, and if you'd rather not, then return to my blog when I'm back to my 85%- of- -the- time- upbeat- self again. I never said all my posts would be uplifting and positive, this is a pseudo-journal after all, and I can write what ever I want. So, the flood gates are open.

Today was kind of a bummer day. After a few brief and scattered phone calls with the company, Pat finally got them to nail down a time for an interview tomorrow at 1. It's hard because we've both had good feelings about this, but they seem to be somewhat disorganized which is a little red flag to us. When he asked how many other candidates there were for the position, they said 2 or 3, but he was furthest along in the process. So if they actually interview everyone else, I'm wondering how long it may be before we know something.
We laid on a blanket outside today with a fussy Sam while Addie was napping and talked a little. I think we're both ready for him to be going back to work. It's kind of like the "honeymoon" of unemployment is over. Maybe not over, just took a break today and we were both kind of grumpy. It's definitely been fun to go do things together, but the fun can only last for so long before we both know that we need to go back to "real life." Pat said the uncertainty of it all is the hardest thing for him. I'd agree with that. I think I also get a little grumpy about my expectations and feelings about our roles. I guess I expect him to help more with some of my jobs since he doesn't have one, so when I'm still doing all (or almost all) my normal stuff, I'm a little irritable.
Sam had a super-cranky day which is totally not like him, and really wore on me. Pat was waiting around for the HR person to call him back, so I took both kids to the ENT by myself for Addie's tube check, and that office is so miserable I would've found someone to watch Sam had I known Pat wasn't coming. Luckily, they were more on time today, but a nurse had to come help me hold Addie down, only to find out both of her tubes are blocked and no longer functioning, and if they start to cause problems or don't fall out on their own in the next 6 months, then we'll have to go have them removed.
And, I think I'm a little annoyed on the friend front. I sent an email to my college friends after this happened kind of letting them know and updating them on us, and I only got one email of acknowledgment. I talked to my bf from college, and she told me even though she thought it stinks, she wasn't really worried about us. I know she meant that she knows we're semi-prepared, and that Pat is talented and will find a job soon, but it would be nice to have friends calling just to see how we're doing, if I need to vent, you know, what you want friends to do. I'm always the friend who is called when someone needs help/advice/a listening ear, you name it. If someone is having a hard time, I send e-mails or call or send cards to encourage and uplift. But when I have something going on and just want someone checking in and offering encouragement, it seems no one is to be found. I'm tired of being the giver, I just want to have a few minutes to take. I recognize how selfish that sounds, and when I get to a better place I'll know that I should be serving others to forget about my own problems and feel better about things, but really, I just want a few minutes to be the natural man before I get over it. Haha, now you all know how carnal I really am.
The silver lining on this day has been Addie using the potty. She wanted to wear a diaper to go to the dr. and one for her nap, but I think maybe only 3 times today (both diapers and 1 wet pull-up when we were busy outside) were accidents. She initiated going to the potty almost every time, I only reminded her a few times, and she was a champ. It was so fun to see her eyes get so big when she could hear her tinkles. She had this look of sheer amusement mingled with surprise and pride. It did make today an extra long day, though. I know that in the end it will make things better, but it's a lot of work until we get to the fully trained phase.

So, let me think. Is there anything else to complain about? If so, I'd better do it now. Every post can't be this way. I'll try to move on now. I just needed to vent for a few. I'm feeling better already. Hopefully the interview will be a smashing success tomorrow and I'll have a post bursting with good news. Good (well, really only semi-good) night.