Long Road

Tonight I sat down to write in my journal.  The non-public one, that is.  I wrote the date and then remembered.  One year ago today, Pat and I loaded up our car and our baby.  We drove to the rehab hospital, putting the last few belongings needed immediately into boxes and then packing our car really full.  We pulled the car around to the curb and were escorted down with the physical therapist for our first real car transfer.  And then we pulled away.

My dad sat up front with Pat.  I sat in the back next to Charlie, pumping and meeting his needs throughout the drive back to Utah.  He was barely 6 weeks.  Pat tried to talk to my dad the entire drive, getting to know the life story of what seemed like a stranger who would be living with us now.  It was hard for my dad to talk.  It was hard for us to understand. 

We stopped for lunch at Subway.  I was nervous when he got out of the car.  I was nervous when he stepped up onto the curb.  I was nervous when he opened the door.  I was nervous when he chose what to order.  I figured Subway was our healthiest bet, but I wasn't planning on him asking for chips.  After lunch we returned to the car.  We read through literature on diabetes and carb counting.  We talked about foods he liked and didn't like so I could try to plan meals accordingly.  I can still see the sun streaming through the car window and the pictures of foods on the purple-bordered pages. 

Things felt awkward and strange.  We made it home around dinner time.  I don't remember everything clearly- I think Chrissy brought dinner, or maybe Rita.  I think Rita watched Addie and Sam while we were in Idaho learning all about how to take care of my dad.  I remember freaking out internally while my dad was trying to make it in the house.  Navigating the 4 stairs from the garage was one of my biggest concerns.  I remember following him everywhere he went, worrying about his every move, straining to understand his every word.  We helped him get dressed for bed.  We did stretches with him. 

And then we went to bed and everything was completely different.  Our house felt different.  We cried and prayed.  It had been a long road from Idaho to Utah.  We knew the longer road was in front of us. 

Looking back, it has been a long road.  I had no idea a year ago what we were about to go through.  And now, one year later, we're preparing for my dad to move to an assisted living center.  There's still a long road ahead in terms of his recovery, especially not knowing what the future may hold.  But I'm grateful for the One who guides my steps.  And I'm grateful for my travel companions- my sweet family.  Long roads aren't so bad when you like who you're with.