Lessons Learned Along the Way

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It's been 3 months and 3 days since my dad came to live with us. It has been hard. I wish I could say that I've handled everything with grace and strength and joy. I haven't. I've had moments with those attributes. I've also had moments of craziness and weakness and sorrow. I've found myself complaining lately, wanting an end with none in sight. But I've also had one phrase running through my mind for the past few weeks- "endure it well." I've let myself surrender to the enduring and forgotten about enduring it well. Adding the well part takes a lot more work. I'm trying to move beyond just enduring and back to enduring it well.

Tonight I was reading through some conference talks I missed and came across this talk by President Uchtdorf given at priesthood session. It was one of those talks that was "just for me," or so the saying goes.

"...I learned that patience was far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn’t appear instantly or without effort.

There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

Did I read that right? Enduring well? This must be just for me!

"As the Lord is patient with us, let us be patient with those we serve. Understand that they, like us, are imperfect. They, like us, make mistakes. They, like us, want others to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Never give up on anyone. And that includes not giving up on yourself.

I believe that every one of us, at one time or another, can identify with the servant in Christ’s parable who owed money to the king and who pled with the king, saying, 'Lord, have patience with me.'"

And when he said that, yeah, that was just for me, too.

"Often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. Often we can’t see the Lord’s hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. Often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness.

Patience is a godly attribute that can heal souls, unlock treasures of knowledge and understanding, and transform ordinary men and women into saints and angels. Patience is truly a fruit of the Spirit.

Patience means staying with something until the end. It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings. It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word. It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich.

Patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith. It means being “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father.” Ultimately, patience means being “firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord” every hour of every day, even when it is hard to do so. In the words of John the Revelator, “Here is the patience of the saints: here are they that keep the commandments of God, and . . . faith [in] Jesus.”

Patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls. Or, to use another translation of the Greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls. Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most. This was true in the time of the Savior. It is true in our time as well, for we are commanded in these latter days to 'continue in patience until ye are perfected.'"

And when he said those things, especially those parts that I bolded, I knew that the Lord had spoken to me once again through the voice of one of his servants. And whether it is by His own voice, or the voice of His servants, it is the same. And my heart was full.

I'm heading to bed tonight with gratitude. I know that I am becoming who I need to be through this experience. I know that I will only become who I need to be if I endure it well. I know that Heavenly Father doesn't give us more than we can handle, and as impossible as some of my days feel and as much as I don't always believe it, I can handle this. I am grateful for my trials and for the blessings that far outweigh the unpleasant things. I took time to rock my baby today. I listened to him giggle while he ate his toes. I watched my little girl sing and dance and twirl like only little girls can. I applauded for potty success and bites taken and air guitar solos by my toddler. I watched my dad make progress during therapy. I kissed my husband on my way back to bed from getting a drink while he was working at 4:30 this morning. I am excited to think about the mountains of my future while I'm in my present valley, But I also know without this valley I will never reach the mountains.