Documentation

I'm at one of those points where I really just need to get it all out for documentation purposes. I'm way too tired tonight to write about everything that's happened over the past several weeks, although I do hope to get to that point. For now, I'll just try to remember today.

7:30- woke up, started breakfast with A and S
7:55- called the home health nurse to leave a message because the dr's office never called back yesterday
7:58- left a message for the home health social worker in response to his text yesterday about when he could come today
8:05-tried to jump in the shower, the phone rang, talked to the dr.'s office
8:10- called the home health nurse back and left another message that I did talk to the dr.'s office
8:15- the home health nurse called back, confirmed appointment to come tomorrow
8:17-got a crying Charlie out of bed, new diaper, playing with A and S
8:25- jumped in the shower
8:35- change Charlie's diaper again (thank you antibiotic ear drops for causing diarrhea)
8:40-dry hair, finish getting ready
8:55-get Charlie dressed, Sam dressed, Addie's hair done, backpacks, teeth brushed
9:05- pack up kids, drop Addie off, drive to Sam's school
9:15-feed Charlie baby food in his car seat while waiting to drop off Sam
9:30-drop off Sam, drive to a skilled nursing facility to check it out
9:50- nurse Charlie before appointment with skilled nursing facility
10:00-10:30-tour facility
10:30-leave feeling more confused than ever- how could such a top rated facility still leave me feeling so depressed? Is this the wrong choice, or just the nature of nursing homes and the nature of this change?
10:45- talk to my brother while driving
11:15-talk to Pat while driving around so I can have a private conversation
11:40-leave a message for the social worker
11:50-drive to pick up Sam
12:00-drive to pick up Addie
12:40-answer the door to find a dear friend and a few moments of happiness, only to be on the interrupted by a call from the social worker
1:00-start making lunch for everyone
1:30- get lunch finished,
1:45-nurse Charlie and get him down for a nap
2:00-Sam breaks the neighbor's tree, march him down to apologize, wonder how many more neighbors we can alienate after Addie informs our middle-aged male neighbor she's not allowed to play at his yard right now
2:15-call independent living facilities to find out price quotes, amenities, etc.
3:00-social worker shows up, meet with him and my dad discussing different independent living versus skilled nursing options
4:00-social worker leaves, get Charlie out of bed
4:10- call back marketing person from skilled nursing facility this morning about some insurance issues
4:15- Charlie and Sam are playing, Charlie pulls a cord that shouldn't have been plugged in where it was and breaks a lamp, start cleaning up glass, decide to vacuum more while it's already out
4:30-call to set up neuropsych assessment for my dad, get told to call another number, leave a message
4:45-call Pat to determine his ETA, decide I'm not making dinner
5:15- head to chick-fil-a to pick up dinner
5:30-talk to psychologist, he doesn't take the insurance and can't do the neuropsych assessment
5:45- eat, feed Charlie about 3 dinners since he can't stop
6:15-start scripture reading
6:20-occupational therapist arrives
6:22-keep reading
6:25- take Sam to the potty
6:30-keep reading
6:35-Pat arrives home
6:40- finish reading
6:45- answer the phone and talk to a friend for 5 minutes, get kids in jammies, attempt to nurse Charlie but the kids are in and out too much
6:55- leave for relief society presidency meeting
8:35- arrive home, talk to Pat, decompress, raid the house for treats to feed my need for emotional eating, look up more potential people to do the neuropsych evaluation, talk to my brother, wonder how I'm holding it together
10:30- head to bed

Add to the mix a 3 year old who needs his mom and is acting out because of it, a 5 year old who has had moods today on both ends of the spectrum from a note saying "I haet my huos" to beautiful flower pictures saying "I love my mom", and an almost 10 month old with ear tubes draining, diarrhea from antibiotic ear drops, teething and a face covered in white specks of paint from deciding to chew on his crib today, and a bottomless appetite, and a me who wasn't as patient or loving as kind to any of those three as she wishes. Things feel almost as hard right now as they did at the beginning of when my dad came to live with us. I think it's because we're pushing toward a potential finish line of getting him moved into a different situation, but it's seriously a full time job right now.
I am blessed. I know that. I had some good quiet moments while driving today. Moments of prayer and peace. I'm not trying to document today to complain, but I do want to be able to remember how things are right now, if for no other reason than to say "I can't believe I did that" or "Those days were hard" or "I'm grateful I'm in a different place now". Off to bed so I can do it all again tomorrow.